Oh what love is this?

It was May the 11th 2012 when the Lord was pleased to cause Chita to ask Precious to be his girlfriend. It had been an interesting road leading to the time when the question was finally asked. Their friendship was growing and so was their interest in each other. Precious had become very captivated and captured by Chita's desire to study and obey the Word of the Lord. She valued the friendship and secretly (sometimes not so discreetly) hoping that Chita would come out with it and ask her out already.During that time, she learned the timeless lessons that the Lord is always teaching her (patience and absolute dependence/trust on HIM).

From the day that Chita asked her out. Precious' life has not been the same. I have found in Chita a friend, mate, partner, a companion, brother, someone my heart loves and longs for. Gently have I been pursued by this man and tenderly has he loved me. In sacrifice has he sought to do all that is right to ensure my happiness. In reverent fear of the Lord has he led me and pointed me to Christ in conduct and speech.

With a sense of entitlement I have demanded and sometimes manipulated situations to get what I want. In our disputes, I have hardened my heart and became cold and calculating towards him, in hope to cause him the same pain I am feeling at that time. My interest above his always as a motivation. Oh what a wretched woman that I am? Who shall rescue me from this body of death?

"As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another." I have found my sharpener and I pray to God that He would be pleased to see grow our friendship.


Faulty and imperfect as this man is, he is my good thing from the Lord.
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

Our Liminal Space

We are neither here nor there, not fully here but not quite there either. We are enjoying the here and now but we know that there is more that awaits over there.

The Lord in His goodness has given me a God-centred, Christ exulting and Bible saturated man who's heart is full of service toward the Him and His people. This man has come into my life and has embodied what it means to live out the Bible in way that has made me long to love and live out God's Word like that and even more.
(I am in no way saying that Chita does this well and he has it together. I know my love has his flaws and he misses the bar time and time again. That he is a sinner in need of grace just like everyone else.)

I cannot help but give thanks to God for this man and look forward to what God has in store for us in this relationship. My hearts desire apart from impacting the world for Jesus sake in massive ways alongside my special: it is to love, honor and respect Chita with all of me. I want to love God so much and be found in His Word so that as it shapes and molds me, I may be a suitable helper for my beloved and love him better.

My prayer is that I may 'remain' the Precious that he has grown to love and not assimilate into a female version of him. Because as much as I love my special, I do not think that is what he needs.

What is true for us to day: is that we both love Jesus and we want to honour Him and bring glory to His name in our friendship. We love each other and we are trusting God to do great things in us and between us.
So as we wait on the Lord to shine His face on us, we enjoy the now and here.

I love you Chita Emmanuel Bantubonse
Your beloved Xolile Precious Makhubu

Habakkuk 3: 16- 19

 Habakkuk 3: 16- 19

I hear, and my body trembles;

    my lips quiver at the sound;

rottenness enters into my bones;

    my legs tremble beneath me.

Yet I will quietly wait for the day of trouble

    to come upon people who invade us.

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

    nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

    and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

    and there be no herd in the stalls,

 

yet I will rejoice in the Lord;

     I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

 

God, the Lord, is my strength;

     he makes my feet like the deer's;  

he makes me tread on my high places

The above passage speaks to my heart: every time I read it. I am assured of the love and goodness of God.