We are neither here nor there, not fully here but not quite there either. We are enjoying the here and now but we know that there is more that awaits over there.
The Lord in His goodness has given me a God-centred, Christ exulting and Bible saturated man who's heart is full of service toward the Him and His people. This man has come into my life and has embodied what it means to live out the Bible in way that has made me long to love and live out God's Word like that and even more.
(I am in no way saying that Chita does this well and he has it together. I know my love has his flaws and he misses the bar time and time again. That he is a sinner in need of grace just like everyone else.)
I cannot help but give thanks to God for this man and look forward to what God has in store for us in this relationship. My hearts desire apart from impacting the world for Jesus sake in massive ways alongside my special: it is to love, honor and respect Chita with all of me. I want to love God so much and be found in His Word so that as it shapes and molds me, I may be a suitable helper for my beloved and love him better.
My prayer is that I may 'remain' the Precious that he has grown to love and not assimilate into a female version of him. Because as much as I love my special, I do not think that is what he needs.
What is true for us to day: is that we both love Jesus and we want to honour Him and bring glory to His name in our friendship. We love each other and we are trusting God to do great things in us and between us.
So as we wait on the Lord to shine His face on us, we enjoy the now and here.
I love you Chita Emmanuel Bantubonse
Your beloved Xolile Precious Makhubu
I can't feel at home in this world anymore
10 years ago
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